Living Fully or Frantically

Having been awfully busy all autumn, it was not without certain bitterness that I read Kim's post for day 31 of Beyond Layers. Not daring to even open the posts lest I'll be swept to playing with the challenges when I really should be doing something else, I was not delighted to find a challenge about slowing down.

However, I guess I have come to realize that busy really doesn't matter. Sometimes there's nothing else to do but to rush along, but it's not as if I wouldn't enjoy it. Oh yes, I have been whining about not having enough time, but right now, this very moment, I'm overjoyed to really have had holiday time to beautifully unwind, spend time at home, do little or a lot or nothing at all and -- be there. Together with Better Half and the doggies. Feel.

For the photo challenge, here's my take. Since the past autumn's particular busy has mostly been at work, this picture's fittingly been taken at my work place.

Stairs

Resources used:
- texture Tears of Hope by Smoko-Stock (70% Soft Light)
- texture Be Still by Kim Klassen  (40% Multiply)

Being Brave

Diving into Beyond Layers again. For day 29 the theme was Being Brave. Firstly, Kim challenged us to remember / write down a brave moment in our lives. Don't know about big and brave things, but thinking about this made some little things surface.

This is such a silly and clichéd thing to be telling about, but oh well. It was my first ever performance on a real stage alone, and it was a big thing for me.

I've always been singing, sung in all the small gatherings my Mum and Granny took me and Sis to, and thought nothing of it. I had also been performing with the school choir, but then one day when I was thirteen I think, my music teacher asked if I'd do a solo performance in the morning assembly. Now the morning assembly was a big thing in our school. All of the 700+ pupils and all the staff gathered together at the beginning of each school day to the central hall of the school, and there'd usually be the headmaster or one of the teachers speaking, a current issue we needed to know, or a "thought for the day", something inspirational. It was here that I was to sing, all alone, accompanied by my music teacher on piano.

Rehearsing had been so much fun, but when the particular morning came, it was such a huge thing to face. To go there, stand all alone next to the grand piano, my only support sitting behind the huge black thing. To stand there in front of all my classmates and the older kids and teachers… My, was I nervous. So nervous in fact that when the teacher played the short intro I was for a while at a total and complete loss for the words. They were in Swedish, too, which naturally didn't make remembering them any easier, since I hadn't been studying the language for that long. It took only a couple of seconds, however, before I caught up with them, and then I remembered all the verses without a problem, but those certainly were among the longest seconds of my life. But I survived, and the elation I felt afterwards has undoubtedly kept me going to the stage afterwards. Yes, I do love performing.

There have been other moments I consider perhaps "brave". Travelling to England at nineteen on train through Sweden, Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands, especially parting with my friends in London to go to a strange place to stay with people I'd only exchanged a couple of letters with, not knowing if they'd even be at the station to meet me or not (no mobile phones had even been thought of in those days…). Some years later, telling Mum about me and Better Half. Facing my fear of dogs, created by our Dachsie who turned unpredictable and aggressive, and taking a new puppy. (Suddenly shuddered to think, what if I hadn't… well, I certainly wouldn't be me now, with six Dandies snoring around the house while I type.) Then some of the unavoidable kind: five years ago, saying good-bye to Mum when she was in terminal care, knowing I'd probably never see her again. Supporting Dad through the worst times after, teaching him to cope. A couple of years later, travelling south to support and help Sis after Dad passed away. But these are things one does because one must.

The second part of Kim's challenge was to make a list of Five Photography Dreams. Don't know if I have any - wait, at least some, though I'm not sure how brave and bold they are.
I'd like to learn to
- take better photos of the dogs
- take nice photos indoors and in low light
- shoot more in manual mode
- develop my eye for composition
- select and keep only the best photos I take

Then to the third part of the challenge, creating a picture that somehow depicts "brave". My take is from spring 2010.

Early Bird

This Wood Pigeon arrived up here in mid-April, when there still was plenty of snow and precious little for him to feed on. It's not always a good thing to be the early bird! But he - and a few days later on another, she perhaps - found our feeding post. For a couple of weeks perhaps they visited us, and we did hear them cooing in the summer in the woods next to our house, so to our great delight they did survive.

Resources used:
- overlay mask MO8-2012-1 from Assorted Mask Overlays by Jerry Jones
- texture Cool Grunge by Kim Klassen
- texture Softly by RH West

Now Me

The challenge for Beyond Layers, day 25 was self-portraits. Most people seemed to cringe at having their photos takes, with the notable exception of my new friend Michele, who seems to be an old friend of mine. ˆ__ˆ

For me I think it's something I got so used to in childhood that it's just something quite normal. My father was the one who photographed us, the whole family, wherever and whenever. So there are all these lovely black & white photos of my sister and me at play  or posing in new dresses (I think we used to be mostly dressed up identically or at least matchingly until I went to school). Later on, I have these colour photos (that have partially faded red) of the family, including me, posing at a landmark or sight when we drove around the country, visiting distant relatives or just touring around for a holiday. I don't like each and every photo taken of me, naturally, who would, but then, why should I? I'm quite used to seeing myself in photos, good and worse.

Really the only problem I've had is quite contrary and has everything to do with the kind of attitude the Beyonders share. Since most people outside my old family seem to abhor being photographed, I developed this shyness… You know, since everybody's saying how horrible it is to be photographed, it really must be that. I've felt quite silly and forward and self-centered and attention-seeking and what not for actually LIKING the thing. It has taken me all these years to gather enough courage to actually ask Better Half to take a picture of me every now and then.

Anyway, the real challenge for me in this self-portrait thing now was the already familiar fact that I don't have a working camera at the moment. It must be much easier to do it with a tripod and things, but one can't really put a phone on a tripod. I managed to take some rather nice shots with the phone held in hand, though, and then remembered that Mac has this program-thingy called Photo Booth - you just sit in front of the computer and have your Mac taking pictures of you with the in-built camera when you click the mouse! Did that, but the light in our study is not really optimal for photography. It would have been so much nicer to have an outdoor picture, too, in the pretty autumn light. And in a flash I realised that we do have the Mac Book, too, which I promptly took for a little walk outside. The pictures are naturally tiny, but I solved this by making a scrapbooking layout with the little pictures. The additional challenge for day 26 of using either one of the  text brushes Kim gave us or her texture I Am were both met here as well. A little creative thinking goes a long way! Here's me, at 50 years, 1 month and 3 days.

Not perfect but all me!

Resources:
- texture I Am by Kim Klassen
- texture Green Haven by Kerstin Frank
- text brush from brush set Affirmation by Kim Klassen
- template adapted from Photobooth by Just A Storyteller
- gradient Rivendell 02 by ElvenSword
- action CoffeeShop 2020 by Rita @ The Coffee Shop Blog
- font Blokletters Balpen by LeFly Fonts

If not now, then when?

At Beyond Layers, day 23 challenge was to ask oneself "If not now, then when?" That's a tough one for me, always busy doing something but always postponing things as well. To list even part of the things I really should do Now would take all too much time and energy, I'm not going into that...

But actually, one of the bigger long-standing Nows that I have rather recently tackled is this blog. I'd never really used it although I had an account for years, and I'd always sort of been writing a journal in my mind. (The problem with that is, of course, that the thoughts will not stay there for more than a few hours at the most.) Now, after I took this course, I've started putting my blog to good use. Although I'm mostly just posting pictures, I'm still recording events for myself to remember and recall later on, and I feel awfully good about it.

Another Now is approaching -- we'll be attacking our accumulated fat again with Better Half, and this time I'll simply have to find time to do exercise as well. It's not a question of "keeping fit" for me, it's "getting fitter" as I haven't been doing anything for years. Funnily, I feel happy and confident about it, too.

Kim gave us a text brush to use, and here's what I did with it. I took a phone photo of the Saintpaulias at the living-room window, and played with it.

If not now...

Resources used:
- background paper Cold Spell 03 by myself
- texture Stamped Right 2 by Kim Klassen
- text brush If Not by Kim Klassen
- template inspired by Marjo @ legrenierdemarjo.canalblog.com (no longer online)

We've done something extraordinary already, as a matter of fact. As I was going to mow the lawn on Monday, it was sunny and I went to get my sunglasses from the car, a little bird suddenly flew right in front of me, somewhere from the old neglected lawn, nowadays an unruly meadow or something of the sort, next to the old house. As I looked into the direction it came from, I saw something red - the red currant bushes that have been totally neglected for years were shining with berries! So I went and told Better Half and we picked the four or so bushes empty right then and there. Well, not totally empty, must leave something for birds, they've been having all the harvest for years anyway. It didn't result to much, since the bushes are ancient and almost drowned in grass and weeds, but a few litres anyway, and it'll be nice to munch them with yoghurt for a few days.

It's a pity we aren't really into berry-picking, it's quite nice and relaxing. Then why aren't we? Most of the reason is the total impossibility of going out into the woods with the whole pack of dogs, if the intention is anything but giving them some exercise. The other part is our reluctance to go out into the woods without the whole pack - that'd be time wasted. Quite a dilemma, which means that we'll have to resort to buying frozen berries at the supermarket yet again.

Oh, and while picking the berries we saw something interesting neither of us had witnessed before. I noticed this moth sitting on a berry, and it was clearly sucking the liquid from inside the berry. It was fascinating to see the berry slowly collapsing as the moth fed on it. We'd never known they'd feed on anything but nectar. The larvae of course I had known might feed on fruit, but that the adult moths will drink berries? I'd somehow always thought that the wrinkled, dried berries one finds in the bushes had been tasted by birds, but it seems it was moths instead. Fascinating.

Black & White with a Touch of Colour

A rainy day. Should have mowed all the lawn yesterday, instead of only going as far as the first tankful of mower would let me. It's too bad one needs to let the machine cool down -- gives one time to cool down oneself, and after that it's a real effort to get going again, although I do, for some unfathomable reason, enjoy lawnmowing. But now the grass is so wet that the poor machine will choke immediately if I try to tackle the backyard.

Oh well, since Better Half is off town training today, and all that the doggies do on rainy days is snore on sofas and chairs around the house, hoping I won't be suggesting anything stupid such a going out, this gives me time to do some more catching up on Beyond Layers. I'm feeling really accomplished -- I'm already on week seven, which means I'm only four weeks behind! That's great -- when I started, the others were doing week 11 already.  And so far I have completed each and every assignment. *insert some the self-satisfied beaming here*

On day 14 of Beyond Layers Kim gave us two videos to study, with ideas how to turn a photo black & white and then add some colour into it to heighten interest. She also gave a more in-depth tutorial on how to create watermark or text brushes.

The brush part really was all familiar to me, but it made me dig up something useful. Kim explained how to resize a brush you're using by using the left and right bracket key -- well, in my Scandinavian Mac keyboard the keys would be totally something else, and while trying to find out which keys to use I landed on this useful hint. Wow, Ctrl + Option drag made changing brush size really quick!

I'm not going to share the brushes I've made, since they are my watermark stamps and anyone interested can see them in the photos I upload, but the black & white assignment was interesting. Thought I'd try using the b&w adjustment layer presets instead of the actions suggested (to be able to afford the Florabella actions I'd have to be making money with my photos or with something anyway). Originally I was quite happy with the results, but decided then to try out the Pioneer Woman b&w action. It gave quite another depth to the image so I ended up using the action.

And then I had a brainwave. Earlier I fretted over the use (or rather, uselessness for me) of brushes, and now I suddenly saw what one could do: use a bold splash brush to add colour to the photo, instead of gently touching the photo with a default brush. Now that was fun to play with.

First Splashes of Colour

Resources used:
Pioneer Woman Black & White action
Splatter Brushes by Fuzzimo

I still have to figure out why, when flattening an image or saving it for web, Photoshop sometimes discards the layer styles. It was most annoying to notice that after I had cracked my brain for a good while to get a bevel to the splashes, it all vanished when I flattened the image. Luckily I finally managed to keep the bevel, though I'm not sure how.

Ten Truths

On Day 13 at Beyond Layers, Kim challenged us to reveal ten truths about ourselves, and then create a fun photo to go with the revelations.

Ok, first I'll deliver the (at least) ten truths about me.

1. I never drink coffee. Only tea. My grandmother was a great coffee drinker and we used to go on picnics in the garden and drink coffee when I was a little girl. Okay, my coffee mostly consisted of milk and sugar with a dash of coffee, but by the age of seven I had had my fill. After that I have only had coffee if it really has been unavoidable. Luckily it very seldom is.

2. I love Dandie Dinmont Terriers. There has been at least one Dandie in our house for 21 years. Currently we have six Dandies, the eldest 15 of them years old and the two youngest ones 8 months.

3. Our dogs are wonderful though at times I too infuriating for words, like when they wake us up after mere five hours of sleep and insist on being taken out the very minute, or insist on barking all passers-by, or decide to have a barking fit on a quiet evening just because nobody is passing by. But I love them to bits.

4. I enjoy  travelling, either with or without the dogs. It's fun to pack the doggies in the car and drive somewhere, and it's lovely to be able to occasionally travel without them, too, preferably together with Better Half.

5. I am a great fan of J.R.R. Tolkien and Lord of the Rings. I used to read the trilogy through every summer for 20 years, but ever since the Peter Jackson films were released, I have only read the books once. The storyline and characters in the films have taken over. Frankly, I have lost count on how many times I have seen the films.

6. I do not watch films very much, but the ones I like I tend to watch again. Not twice. Not thrice. Over and over again. See above.

7. I love singing. I have taken singing lessons for quite a few years now. In classical terms, I am a mezzosoprano. I also sing in a 6-woman ensemble, our repertoire consists of barbershop, classic pop and some jazz standards, and I couldn't imagine life without the group.

8. I used to lose my voice totally with flu twice a year, just like my mother, but ever since I started learning proper vocal techniques this hasn't happened once. Knock on wood.

9. I enjoy listening to music in languages I don't understand. Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, to name a few. That way I can listen to vocal music even while I'm working on something that demands concentration without getting distracted by the lyrics.

10. I tend to do things in fits and starts. This goes for  Better Half as well... When the whimsy strikes us, we might suddenly decide to build a new flowerbed in the garden and do it all in a few hours, and then not touch something long-planned for weeks or months on.

11. I love hats. I don't wear them every day, except of course in the winter when one cannot go without, but far more often than others around here.

12. I am terrible at making choices. It takes forever for me to choose anything, from what clothes to wear and which tube of toothpaste to buy, to deciding the template to use for a scrapbooking layout or which photos to start processing. *sheepish grin*

Seems that I ended up with twelve, but that's alright. It was far more fun that I thought it would be, so thank you for the challenge.

Then to the fun photo. As the challenge included the word "fun", I chose this picture I took last year in June. I was sitting on a park bench, in the shade on a sunny morning of a hot day, and just for fun, I snapped this silly photo of my new hat and my leg and foot with a sandal. The picture has amused me a lot, I like it, and it is, after all, a picture of me. Kind of.

Morning in Park

Processing resources:
- texture Tone Texture 10 by Jerry Jones
- texture 118v2 by Sirius-sdz
- gradient Rivendell 13 by ElvenSword
- framing action by Chain

And here's a recipe card for that.

Choosing Happiness

On Day 7 of Beyond Layers there was talk about happiness, and choosing to be happy, or going towards it, step by step.

Stopping to think about it, I have no need to choose happiness. Quite simply, I AM happy. True, there are these bigger and smaller glitches every now and then, but all in all, what about them? They come and go, and I'll survive them. I have weathered some storms and I am resilient enough to survive a few more. My life is good, I live with the love of my life, my Better Half is a wonderful person I love so deeply, we have a beautiful home and these occasionally infuriating but charming funny dogs, I enjoy my work, I have rewarding hobbies that have brought me many friends and even a few close ones...

Yes, I am a very happy woman.

On the lake on an August evening

Here I'm posting what in my opinion is one of the best photos I've ever taken. I shot it last August with my phone while we were -- well, fishing on the lake. I didn't catch a single fish, Better Half might have caught one, I think. It was rather late, there was next to no breeze and mostly we were just floating about in the cooling evening. I didn't feel like doing anything to the picture, I just added my watermark and the frames. I have no idea if it really is that good a picture, but for me it has the mood of that moment. Peace. Quiet. Happiness.